16. In the Seventeenth Year
Fantasy
A horn sounded - the horn from the guard tower.
Faraway voices called out, and doors slammed in distant corridors. Penelope and Violette ran to Queen Evangeline's bedroom window and drew back the blue velvet draperies.
"Soldiers!"
oh, love this! Action, questions, dialogue and awesome tangible senses - touch and sound. I want more!
ReplyDeleteLots going on here, and intrigues the reader with some nice concrete details. I hope it settles down and becomes a little clearer with respect to who, what, where, when, why in the next couple of paragraphs.
ReplyDeleteLove the beginning! Lots of action and excitement.
ReplyDeleteHi
ReplyDeleteOoooh I like how you go straight into the action!
Got my attention. Good luck!
take care
x
This one reads beautifully to me. I wouldn't change a thing. Great job! I'm intrigued.
ReplyDeleteNice job. like others, I liked how it started with action.
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