Friday, May 31, 2013

This is Stanley the Sea Gull.  He lives on the southern coast of England.  He's a happy bird.  Grandad feeds him damp bread at the end of each week.  He likes his bread wet, not dry.

I found an awesome rock on the beach that made me think of a seagull...named Stanley.  I hope you enjoy my WIP: STANLEY MAKES A FRIEND.

This a picture book I am working on.  :)  I would love to hear your input.  Positive or negative....it will help me write the best story possible.

Here are my first  few words...

Stanley perched proudly on the edge of his nest, high in the white cliffs of Dover.

All the other sea gulls looked at Stanley's nest.

"How can you live this way?" Asked Sandy.

Stanley smiled. "Don't be sad. I can teach you how to decorate your nest."

Sandy fanned out her feathers. "You silly goose! I don't want to be like you."

Stanley scratched his head.

Sandy flew back to her very tidy nest.

Something shinny sparkled in the sun. Stanley dove down to the beach.

This would be a fine addition to his nest. Stanley slipped his beak through the loop and flew home.

"I will hang this near the front of my home. It will sparkle in the sun."

Steve glided into Stanley's nest.

"Ouch! What is that?" Steve rubbed his head.

"It's my new shiney thing." Stanley grinned.

"Well, it's rather dangerous," Steve snapped.

" I could help you find one for your nest." Stanley stood tall. He knew he could find almost anything.

"NO WAY! Sea gulls are not collectors."

Stanley's head hung with shame. Not one of his friends shared his love for treasure hunting.

Stanley slipped the sparkly round thing on his beak and flew away.

"I'm going to find a new home where a saving sea gull is appreciated."

"Whoops!"

Stanley swooped down trying to catch his shiny thing.

It landed in a beautiful green garden, right beside an old human sleeping in the sun.

Swoosh...

Stanley landed behind a tree.

Swish...

A small bird with a yellow beak landed right next to Stanley's shiny thing.

Clink, clink, clink. The small bird slipped Stanley's shiny thing on his beak and flew away.

Stanley followed him.

"Hey, you took my shiny thing." Stanley stood on the edge of a very well decorated nest.

"I found it near my bath."

"I dropped it as I was looking for a new home. It was the only thing I took with me."  Stanley frowned.

"Why are you looking for a new home?"

"All the other sea gulls make-fun of me, for collecting things."

I am so bad about following blog hop rules...

I'm looking forward to reading your posts.

Hugs, Sharon


What are you working on???

34 comments:

  1. Awww lovely Sharon! It's so cute!!! I think it packs an emotional punch - poor Stanley - ostracised for being different and wanting shiny things!! I think this will totally resonate with the kiddies!

    My niggles: all the S's- Steve, Stanley, Sandy. Gets confusing (for me anyway!) Sorry!

    Some grammar and spelling stuff but I'm sure they'll be sorted during editing!

    "Don't be sad" - Sandy sounds bemused/annoyed rather than sad?

    Who is saying "I found it near my bath" Stanley or the little bird?

    All the best with this Sharon! I really think you've nailed the themes of "being different" and "being true to yourself" here! Yay! Take care
    x

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  2. Hi Sharon .. poor Stanley .. but at least he's collecting things - he's got some life in him ... I'm sure the old man would enjoy Stanley's company .. and they could keep each other company.

    I wonder if Sandy will relent .. and let Stanley share her nest ... high above the White Cliffs of Dover - think of all the gliding they could do ..

    I enjoyed Stanley the Sea Gull .. I hope you finish the picture book - lots of imaginative drawings to be had here ..

    Cheers Hilary

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  3. This is such a cute idea! Sure to be a hit!! :)

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  4. Great idea indeed, Stanley sounds like quite the poor fellow, who will surely rise up.

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  5. The basic story line is soo cute. I am sure kids will be able to realte this. Great imagination. Best Wishes and I am sure you will do great.

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  6. A seagull who thinks he's a magpie - I like it! Normally I don't like characters with names beginning with the same letter, but it works well for a kids' book, along with all the other alliteration.

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  7. Rules are meant to be broken :) Sounds like a great story, keep it up!

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  8. Hey Sharon,

    I know Stanley! Sometimes he flies up to Leek and dines at the local landfill. Most bizarre when he can have fresh fish down in Dover.

    I like that Stanley is different and the other seagulls should not pass judgement. And yes, there is one typo I can point out, Something "shinny" sparkled in the sun.

    All the best with this. You would never get me involved with these blog hops. Still, respect to you and all those who do :)

    Have a nice weekend.

    Gary :)

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  9. Sweet! I don't really do picture books (they're too tough for me. Seriously) But I can tell you I'd vary the first letter of their names. I get the alliteration thing, but they sound too similar to each other and you want Stanley to be unique! :D

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  10. Very cute! I love it! PBs are hard to write. I have a hundred ideas but no time to invest in it with all the darn novel ideas pestering me. ;)

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  11. This is so cute. I want to know if Stanley finds a new home and some new friends.

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  12. Stanley the Seagull? I love it! My husband would related to Stanley - he loves saving things too! (I throw out!) I love the story & the concept! Stanley has a distinct personality already!

    Bearing in mind I don't know the requirements for Children's Lit, the only caution I'd issue is there's a lot of "s" alliteration,which is fine in moderation but can sometimes simulate the hissing sound of a snake if too much (43,8% of your sentences begin with the letter "S") It did produce quite a rhythmic feel to the passage, though, which may be the effect you're aiming for to relax children's minds?

    I do hope Stanley the Saving Sea Gull finds his new home where he can hoard to his heart's delight with his new friend! :)

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  13. This made me smile. I have such a good picture of Stanley in mind and I love the overall message, which I think kids will want to hear, too. All the best with this!

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  14. Cute idea, Sharon. But I agree with others who've said that all that alliteration is confusing. I can't keep the characters straight if their names sound alike, especially Steve and Stanley, since they both start with St.

    You've spelled shiny three different ways (shinny, shiney, shiny).

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  15. What a fun story! I hope he learns to love being unique! :)

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  16. Stanely is a cutie :) Thanks for sharing!

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  17. Cute! But where is it going to end?

    I wish I could offer advice, but truth is, I've never branched into picture books, so this is way out of my depth. I do love reading them to my littles though.

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  18. No wait, don't stop there! I want to see what happens to Stanley!

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  19. awww. loved that piece. Totally feel for Stanley.
    Nutschell
    www.thewritingnut.com

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  20. Aw, I love Stanley! And he lives in the cliffs of dover? That is so cool.

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  21. Great story and well written.

    All the best,

    Nas

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  22. Sharon, it is so delightful to get to read some of your work after hearing about your hard work on WriteOn. Honestly, Stanley already has my heart.

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  23. I can picture all these great bits as part of the nest, which would look so lovely in a picture book. I like that Stanley is the odd duck... um, seagull. You really have something special here!

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  24. Hey woman, I'm stopping back in to let you know you've been nominated. =)

    http://crystalcollier.blogspot.com/2013/06/awards-coming-out-my-ears.html

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  25. I like your story! Good luck finding a publisher if you choose to submit it!

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  26. That's so cute! Really feel sorry for poor Stanley but have hope that you will make things work out well for him! It has potential for a great picture book, enjoyable to read and with plenty of opportunities for fun illustrations.

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  27. Hearts, S! Loved this...but I knew I would before reading. I'm working on two more PB manuscripts and the sequel to my debut YA. :)

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  28. It's a cute story. I'm not good at giving feedback on PBs since I don't write them, and I don't read them anymore.

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  29. That is so cute and I'd love to hear what happens to Stanley the collector!

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  30. That is so cute and I'd love to hear what happens to Stanley the collector!

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