Title: Winding Roads
Genre: Memoir
Before they labelled me Slaggy Aggie and Slit-Eyes, even before someone later dubbed me Sunshine, Mamma named me Silvija. It's pronounced Sil-vee-ya. My Mamma told me she wanted a beautiful name for a beautiful baby, that's why she chose it. That was probably the only time Mamma ever used the world 'beautiful' in the same breath as my name. Mamma believed that giving children praise encouraged vanity, and, since vanity in either a child or an adult was right at the top of her own personal list of heinous sins, it was to be avoided at all cost.
I believe the only reason she eventually told me she considered my name beautiful was because she got fed up with me coming home with my nose bloody, my hair in disarray and grimy tears drying on my face.
.
I don't read a lot of memoirs, so forgive me if my advice is of no use.
ReplyDeleteI can feel her pain in this short excerpt. WTG! I am assuming "they" are children at school...I would like you to say that because it puts me more in Sylvija's head right away.
Thanks for joining in. :)
I love the voice here. I feel like I already have a good feel for both these characters in just the first 100 words. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is overall very good. I am curious about it being a memoir, though. The voice definitely sounds young, like a middle grade novel. I'm wondering if you're writing about a younger time period in your life-- if your mc (yourself, I guess!) stays this age throughout the book. If so, the voice is fine. If you're going to grow up through the book, I might consider making the voice a bit more sophisticated, especially if this is directed toward an adult audience.
ReplyDeleteAlso, just a nit-pick -- Mamma should be capitalized, unless you say "my mamma" and then it should be lower case.
I am curious to see where this is going. This feels a little like backstory at the moment. I'd hope for something to happen pretty quickly after this section.
I hope this helps! I wish you all the best!
I can see this is going to be an emotional book with perhaps some snippets of humor.
ReplyDeleteAn interesting start. I think I'd want to make sure there was a box of tissues handy, because I feel that there will be some tears shed.
ReplyDeleteSusanne
PUTTING WORDS DOWN ON PAPER
Wonderful opening - I'm drawn in straight away.
ReplyDelete