I submitted the first three chapters of a chapter book manuscript called BEG, BORROW, AND EARN.
Pitch: David likes to buy stuff, even when he can’t afford it; the trouble is he’s reached the point where he can’t borrow anymore money from his family or friends.A Snippet:
“Can I get new sneakers?” David asked.
“You can wear the ones you have until the end of the summer. We’ll get you a new pair, right before school starts,” Mom said.
“Cool!” David’s voice went squeaky. “I know what kind I want. I want a pair of black and white Ninja Heelys.”
Mom was reading the label on a box of Cap’n Crunch . She looked over the top of her glasses . “I can’t see the point in spending sixty dollars on a pair of sneakers that turn into roller skates when you already have roller blades.”
“But, Mom, they’re wicked cool! I have to have them or everyone’ll think I’m a loser.”
Things I learned:
1. She liked my dialogue and said she would read on. (smile)
2. Had a sense of talking heads at the beginning...I should insert more setting right away, so you know the setting....(It takes 4 sentences to figure out where the characters are.)
3. Liked my language level. (smile)
4. Keep my math/human ratios simple or they will confuse the readers...(Grandma and Pappa give David $8 for his birthday and Uncle Ken gives him $8. The way I worded it was confusing to the reader...)
5. Don't use too many brand names... (I'm not sure about this one...David is really into that kind of stuff...it's part of him...I'll have to investigate this issue.)
6. My second chapter doesn't have anything really funny or a big action in it. Marcia thought I should add something humorous to it.
Marcia gave me some great pointers. I hope that you hop over and meet her, she is one smart lady!
Have you submitted anything lately?