If you have ever been in a violent or controlled relationship, you probably recognize you don't want your children to be involved in that same type of relationship. But what can you do? Talk to your children, WAY before they are teens. They have to know they're valuable and deserving of love, respect and kindness.
I firmly believe books show kids how to treat others and how they should be treated. Books can give them courage and show them a path to a better life.
If you are in a controlling or violent relationship it will effect your children...It's hard to leave a partner whether you are 16 or 60, but everyone deserves love, respect and kindness. You are modeling what a "normal" relationship is, so what they see at home is really important.
There are places and people you can turn to if you are in this type of relationship. If you belong to a church, a pastor may be able to counsel you. A professional counselor could help too. There are lots of organizations you can turn to: Help for Abuse, Dove, Inc, Domestic Violence, go to Google, there are lots of informational sites, more than I can even imagine.
If you suspect your teen is in a controlling or violent relationship, these sites have indicators you can look for and suggestions...
One of my writing friends Susan Oloier asked me to join her blog tour about his important issue. Below are two books that involve teens in violent relationships.
Outcast
by Susan Oloier
Noelle dreams of a different life, one where Trina Brockwell doesn’t exist. Trina has bullied Noelle since junior high. Now she’s tired of it. With the help of her black-sheep aunt and a defiant new classmate, Noelle seeks revenge. But vengeance comes with a price: Noelle risks friendship, her first love, and herself to get back at those who have wronged her.
Outcast is available at several sites.
Break from You
by Rebecca Green Gasper
Love shouldn’t hurt this much…Brooke Myers wants to believe she has it all: the perfect guy, the perfect relationship, the perfect life. She wants to believe it so much that she's willing to overlook the fear, the isolation, and the pain her boyfriend has caused her. She knows it isn't right but tells herself that love isn't always easy. However, when a fire destroys the restaurant during homecoming dinner, she forms an instant bond with the boy who saves her, one her boyfriend wouldn’t like. With the pain of a concussion reminding her of how bad things can get, she is forced to re-evaluate the relationship she has with her boyfriend and face the ghosts that haunt her. Brooke once believed love was all it took…but is it enough? Is it truly love when you've lost yourself in it?
You can find more out about Rebecca and her books on her blog.
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Congratulations to Carol Riggs for winner a copy of Chicken Dance by Tammi Sauer!
And Congratulations to Angela Ackerman and Kelly Polark who won Princess in Training buttons from Tammi.
When you look in the mirror tomorrow, I'd like you to remember, you are special, you are valued and you deserve to be treated with respect!
Hi Sharon - this is a great post ... I've noticed quite a few bloggers highlighting violence of different kinds ...
ReplyDeleteRobyn Campbell, who is also supporting Susan Oloier's book tour, has posted about Ripple's Effect - a picture book for children - in a similar vein ..
Here's the link:
http://robyn-campbell.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/ripples-effect-and-you-can-win-copy.html
The more we know or are aware of - the better ... and we can help vulnerable people ..
All the best - Hilary
Great way to support/protest this kind of violence. Awareness is key!
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for the contest, and YAY for me winning CHICKEN DANCE! Looks like a super picture book. :)
Makes me very thankful I grew up in a loving household.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to the winners!
ReplyDeleteSounds like two important books.
I really like your last line. Thanks for the boost!
Sharon, Thank you so much for hosting Susan and me and speaking out against teen dating violence and bullying.
ReplyDeleteSound advice. Break the circle.
ReplyDelete@Hilary & Carol: I absolutely agree--more awareness is definitely better.
ReplyDelete@Alex: Me, too.
@Theresa: thanks for stopping by and for being a voice on the tour, too!
@Carol: I'd love to see the cycle broken
Thanks, Sharon, for being a part of this with us.
Love that you're spreading the word like this. it's so important for kids/teens/adults to know there is an alternative and that they do have the power and the right to change things.
ReplyDeleteYaY for Hil! I heart you Hil!!!!! And YaY for Mayhew for supporting the Speak Out Against blog tour. You're both awesomesauce. You know that? I love how you show what to do, Mayhew. Before they're teens. *waves peace sign*
ReplyDeleteThis is truly such an awesome way to reach out to those affected. Survivors of bullying must realise and must know they are not alone - there's plenty love out there to help and protect them. Take care
ReplyDeletex
Congrats to Susan on her book!
ReplyDeleteAn important issue for sure, and teens can see a way out and that they are not alone.
And thank you,Sharon!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Jemi, Robyn, Old Kitty, and Kelly. And loads of hugs to Sharon for helping out today. Thank you, Sharon! I love your post.
ReplyDeleteBooks are a much better way to teach our children than letting them learn through experience. Thanks for all you do!
ReplyDeleteSo long as you can get the kids to read in the first place. I have come across many who don't read. The whole concept is excellent though.
ReplyDeleteOne of my son's friends found out his older sister had been abused by her boyfriend for years. Thankfully they convinced her to press charges and he's now in prison, but as a mother, I can't imagine what it would be like to find out that abuse has been going on like this while I was unaware. I agree one of the best things we can do is infuse a strong sense of self respect in our kids and make then understand their self worth, and that they never have to take abuse from anyone for any reason. It is such a hurtful cycle.
ReplyDeleteAnd wow, i won the draw? Woot! That is so awesome--thank you Sharon!
Wonderful post, Sharon. And what a great way to join in the fight against violence!
ReplyDeleteNutschell
www.thewritingnut.com
Hi Sharon,
ReplyDeleteThis is an extremely important posting you have submitted. Nobody need suffer in silence and your links can point the way.
To you and your loved ones and to those who are in turmoil, I wish some peace this weekend and beyond.
In kindness, Gary
What an important topic for a blogfest - great idea, and those sound like some terrific books!
ReplyDeleteWow, this is a topic I haven't seen much about. Everyone has been so focused on the bullying issue but there are so many other things we should be fighting against as well.
ReplyDelete-K8
http://froze8.blogspot.com/
Great post, Sharon, and those books sound really good!
ReplyDeleteCongrats to the winners! Have a happy Thanksgiving!
This is a very powerful post, Sharon. I've never been in a controlling relationship, but I had a beautiful friend in high school who was. It was rough watching her stay in the relationship. Finally, after something like two years, she broke it off.
ReplyDeleteThose books sound great. My Mom is a therapist so I know it is an important topic. Hooray for the winners!
ReplyDeleteSuch a great post, Sharon, and thanks for including so many helpful and useful links!
ReplyDeleteFunny, I just had a bullying discussion with my kids last night. It's definitely something we need to see addressed more often for kids. Books are my favorite way!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, Sharon! <3
Thanks for highlighting this issue! Great post!
ReplyDeleteI have highlighted a new publisher and you're welcome to come and ask questions regarding submissions.
Thanks,
Nas
Another important issue we should be taking about. I love that bloggers are picking up issues and running with them.
ReplyDelete-K8
http://froze8.blogspot.com/