Friday, January 22, 2010

WHAT ARE YOU SCARED OF?


Everyone is scared of something…What are you scared of? Have you ever pushed yourself to do something that scared you? I do it all of the time. When you are a parent you have to do things that take you out of your comfort zone; like climb to the top of a lighthouse. Did you know as you climb up the lighthouse gets smaller and smaller? The stairs get steeper and steeper. When you finally get (almost) to the top…you have to climb a ladder, a ladder that is absolutely vertical. Going up isn’t bad, but coming down is a whole different thing…When you are the parent, you must put on a brave face and comfort your child as you go down the ladder and the steep stairs. If you are lucky, there is a nice tearoom attached to the lighthouse where you can have a cheese sandwich, some chips (fries), and a cup of tea.


Are there moments in writing that scare you? Is it sending out that first manuscript, or is it sending out the fiftieth one? Is it your first agent query, or requerying that same agent with a new manuscript?

So, what are you scared of? What’s holding you back? What can you do to push yourself to the next level?

23 comments:

  1. I love the analogy of the lighthouse, and of having to be brave for my kids. That's so true! I'm much braver when my kids need me to be.

    Right now the thing that scares me the most is that I don't have another book in me as good as the first.

    How's that for being vulnerable? :)

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  2. Heidi--I'm sure your second book will be better than your first! Relax and enjoy finding that next great story. :)

    (The lighthouse story...true.)

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  3. Heidi,
    I know several writers who have said something very similar, so you really aren't alone. Is it better to worry in a group? Like I tell my friends, "If I had a lick of sense, I'd probably be worried silly right about now." Most of them don't know what a worrier I am!
    --SueBE

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  4. I love the lighthouse story, too. We are so much better at being brave for our kids,aren't we?

    I'm afraid of failing. The Naughty Boy Factory means so much to Scott (my 7 y.o.) and my husband. I'm afraid of letting them down and of failing at my dream.

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  5. Sue is right...you are not alone!

    Shannon--I think anyone who works hard at something, and wants success, always worries. Of course, I was born with the worry gene, according to my dad. :)

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  6. Love the analogy, Sharon, of the lighthouse as a challenge to be confronted! I think for most everyone venturing into the unknown causes fear & worry. Writing-wise, my fear is sending out that first query & getting rejected. But as the saying goes, nothing ventured, nothing gained. So I guess that's a fear I have to overcome if I ever want to be published! :)

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  7. Crystal--You are so right: nothing ventured, nothing gained...

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  8. I used to be a terrible worrier - now I pray instead. I still don't like heights though...that lighthouse would have freaked me out for sure.

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  9. Just putting yourself out there is scary. But worth it, just like I'm sure the lighthouse view is.

    I also hate rearranging scenes. I'm so afraid things won't match up, feel disjointed if I do. Then I won't catch the right feel.

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  10. Oh yes, I have felt that way many times. I like Susan's advice to pray. Closing my eyes also helps - just shut them tight and jump (or open the email or whatever...)

    Writing and publishing is a long and slow journey for most of us. If we allow too much hesitation, it only makes it longer. The choice is ours.

    Good thoughts over here today, Sharon :D

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  11. Read this yesterday and have been thinking about it.

    In life, I am scared of dying before my children are grown.

    In writing, not really scared of anything when compared to the above, but I do "worry" that emails that are sent to agents were never received. Nothing is more calming than a simple auto-respond that tells you it was received, it will be evaluluated, and you may or may not hear back, depending on what the message states. I'm sure there are valid reasons why some agents don't use them, but it does make it just a little easier on the author, especially when most recommend or require contacting via e-mail.

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  12. Susan--Prayer works...you are always so calm and together. :)

    Jackee--Wouldn't it be great if editors and agents just went door to door looking for talent?

    Tess--Wow! You are right...hesitating will make the process take longer... (lightbulb momment)

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  13. Sean--Thanks for the reminder of what is really important...family...Missing out on my daughter's life would be horrible!

    I've only emailed one agent and he emailed me back in a few hours. The editors I've traded emails with usually get back to me fairly quickly. Snail mail has been a different story though....

    Thanks for the thoughtful response. Have a lovely weekend!

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  14. LOL I climbed a lighthouse once with my daughter and had to act brave for her! She was so afraid!
    I get really nervous about sending a query out to my dream agents. Hate for them to reject me!

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  15. Terri--It's hard always putting on a brave face...but that's what you have to do as a parent and a writer. :)

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  16. I'm really not afraid of anything except water. And someone stealing my son. Other than that, I try not to worry. I don't know who said it, but I've always loved this quote:

    Worry is interest paid on a debt that never comes due.

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  17. Amy--I didn't know that about you...I think the worrying about your child being kidnapped diminishes as they get older and more independent.

    I like the quote. Thanks for sharing it.

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  18. Moments that scare me in writing? Talking to writing professionals on the phone. Thank goodness it's something that gets easier with each call!

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  19. Wow. Talk about making us look inward and be honest. (Smiles) I'm scared of no one liking my work, whether it's an agent who believes in me enough to represent me or readers. I need to remember that I write first and foremost for myself. It's not about making money for me, it's about having a story to share and hoping others will enjoy it. I might die without anyone reading a single word of what I have written. Just thinking about it makes me sad. I guess I'm scared that all of this means I have no talent and I am just fooling myself.

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  20. Suzette--I'm sure it will get easier the more you do it. :) One day, it will be no big deal, just part of your life.

    Buffy--I have read, I don't know how many (lots), exerpts of your book ...I think it's wonderful, touching, and emotionally involving to the reader...It will be loved once it's published. :)

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  21. I'm most concerned with being late. Sometimes this is a blessing in disguise because my time table is not the proper time table. Regardless,being late is still unsettling for me.

    Stephen Tremp

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  22. My top two fears: Heights and dogs. Terrifying. *shudder*

    As for writing, I think for me, the scariest thing is the prospect of success. Because then you can't just disappear. You know?

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  23. Stephen--I don't like being late either. I'm not very good at waiting when others are late either.

    Elana--I was scared of hieghts until I took a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon (without any of my family members). I thought I was going to get sick in the lobby while I was waiting. I have never been so scared, but I desperately wanted to fly over the Grand Canyon. I concentrated on breathing. Once we were airborne, I was so overwhelmed by the view I forgot my fears.

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