tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post849095821144569990..comments2024-01-13T03:17:02.912-06:00Comments on S.K. Mayhew, Kid Lit Writer : Sharon K. Mayhewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07799235347319851345noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-72160293543066961052010-03-29T08:58:48.918-05:002010-03-29T08:58:48.918-05:00I love that you made a comment on your own post! ...I love that you made a comment on your own post! It is different when you see it in a different format.<br /><br />I think is should have "said Mom," in the first sentence. That being said, I'm intrigued...I wonder what has caused them to have financial issues and if that will be discussed more in the book.Sharon K. Mayhewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07799235347319851345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-23844158236224121792010-03-29T00:15:03.840-05:002010-03-29T00:15:03.840-05:00I love your description of the mom. Little nit-pic...I love your description of the mom. Little nit-pick, try replacing "my mom" with just the title "Mom." You can do that with first-person and it cuts down on your number of words. :)A.L. Sonnichsenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11358456786727534289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-869057073656878532010-03-28T16:07:04.445-05:002010-03-28T16:07:04.445-05:00Hi
Poor dog and poor Vicky. I like mum's desc...Hi<br /><br />Poor dog and poor Vicky. I like mum's description and her emotional state - the last sentence makes her more vulnerable. I'd only say that perhaps to make it clear that mum is addressing a dog as in ".. my mom says to the dog.".<br /><br />Good luck!<br /><br />xOld Kittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13185547869183611159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-69625538749474480792010-03-28T08:26:03.320-05:002010-03-28T08:26:03.320-05:00I like the description, but agree this information...I like the description, but agree this information about Mom should come later. I'd like to know more about Vicky up front. I like that we know the problem starting with the very first line.Susan Fieldshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02433408456603462774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-35983606821599987032010-03-26T17:48:51.993-05:002010-03-26T17:48:51.993-05:00I agree with Terry about starting with the mc, but...I agree with Terry about starting with the mc, but I do think what you have here is very strong. I get a good picture of the mother and the dynamic at play. But who is Vicky? That's where you should start.Bluestockinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01225973854788421827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-21634185072810022302010-03-26T17:21:05.275-05:002010-03-26T17:21:05.275-05:00first paragraph should be about the mc, not her mo...first paragraph should be about the mc, not her mom.TerryLynnJohnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08380207155608982319noreply@blogger.com