tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post7091637763358951922..comments2024-01-13T03:17:02.912-06:00Comments on S.K. Mayhew, Kid Lit Writer : Entry 5Sharon K. Mayhewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07799235347319851345noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-61639231239036221862012-04-17T06:59:05.011-05:002012-04-17T06:59:05.011-05:00Wonderful opening - I'm drawn in straight away...Wonderful opening - I'm drawn in straight away.Talli Rolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04780882465745107715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-90569651757662123302012-04-13T21:05:00.392-05:002012-04-13T21:05:00.392-05:00An interesting start. I think I'd want to mak...An interesting start. I think I'd want to make sure there was a box of tissues handy, because I feel that there will be some tears shed.<br /><br />Susanne<br /><a href="http://susannedrazic.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">PUTTING WORDS DOWN ON PAPER</a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-7442362136469494012012-04-12T19:00:50.630-05:002012-04-12T19:00:50.630-05:00I can see this is going to be an emotional book wi...I can see this is going to be an emotional book with perhaps some snippets of humor.TC Aveyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01686886257486186821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-5421347135110391752012-04-12T16:00:16.200-05:002012-04-12T16:00:16.200-05:00This is overall very good. I am curious about it b...This is overall very good. I am curious about it being a memoir, though. The voice definitely sounds young, like a middle grade novel. I'm wondering if you're writing about a younger time period in your life-- if your mc (yourself, I guess!) stays this age throughout the book. If so, the voice is fine. If you're going to grow up through the book, I might consider making the voice a bit more sophisticated, especially if this is directed toward an adult audience. <br /><br />Also, just a nit-pick -- Mamma should be capitalized, unless you say "my mamma" and then it should be lower case. <br /><br />I am curious to see where this is going. This feels a little like backstory at the moment. I'd hope for something to happen pretty quickly after this section.<br /><br />I hope this helps! I wish you all the best!A.L. Sonnichsenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11358456786727534289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-82452175464902191082012-04-12T12:37:49.849-05:002012-04-12T12:37:49.849-05:00I love the voice here. I feel like I already have ...I love the voice here. I feel like I already have a good feel for both these characters in just the first 100 words. Great job!Susan Fieldshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02433408456603462774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-85732375875150335642012-04-12T10:54:58.077-05:002012-04-12T10:54:58.077-05:00I don't read a lot of memoirs, so forgive me i...I don't read a lot of memoirs, so forgive me if my advice is of no use. <br /><br />I can feel her pain in this short excerpt. WTG! I am assuming "they" are children at school...I would like you to say that because it puts me more in Sylvija's head right away.<br /><br />Thanks for joining in. :)Sharon K. Mayhewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07799235347319851345noreply@blogger.com