tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post190199759608168766..comments2024-01-13T03:17:02.912-06:00Comments on S.K. Mayhew, Kid Lit Writer : Sharon K. Mayhewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07799235347319851345noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-69616075539192233802010-03-29T00:35:46.491-05:002010-03-29T00:35:46.491-05:00I really like this voice. I can't think of any...I really like this voice. I can't think of anything I would change. Good job. :)A.L. Sonnichsenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11358456786727534289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-26548277262702620772010-03-28T15:52:38.648-05:002010-03-28T15:52:38.648-05:00Hi
Oh I like this! it's straight to the point...Hi<br /><br />Oh I like this! it's straight to the point but also infused with intrigue. I'd like to read on because I'm dying (no pun intended!) to know who this person is and why!<br /><br />good luck!<br /><br />xOld Kittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13185547869183611159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-92013609857926548282010-03-28T11:58:10.246-05:002010-03-28T11:58:10.246-05:00I like it a lot. I'd make the first sentence ...I like it a lot. I'd make the first sentence sound more like a teen said it. (Yeah, I'm scared. Really scared.) I'd definately read on! Nice job...Sharon K. Mayhewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07799235347319851345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-40258757704409557292010-03-28T08:17:25.720-05:002010-03-28T08:17:25.720-05:00I'd be inclined to remove the "I'm sc...I'd be inclined to remove the "I'm scared" as unnecessary telling, especially when you've backed it up with some good showing. I'd definitely keep reading!Susan Fieldshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02433408456603462774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-4941680584957077882010-03-26T20:32:09.840-05:002010-03-26T20:32:09.840-05:00Hooked! I love it.Hooked! I love it.Shannon O'Donnellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17299313309059235876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-62591372671186245322010-03-26T17:28:27.711-05:002010-03-26T17:28:27.711-05:00I think your last sentence here is really strong a...I think your last sentence here is really strong as we get a clear sense of the mc's voice. The more you can show what your character is feeling through thought and word choice, the better (instead of just saying "i'm scared").Bluestockinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01225973854788421827noreply@blogger.com