tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post1781180503466286266..comments2024-01-13T03:17:02.912-06:00Comments on S.K. Mayhew, Kid Lit Writer : Entry Number 21Sharon K. Mayhewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07799235347319851345noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-18521058390788473872011-03-24T15:46:00.344-05:002011-03-24T15:46:00.344-05:00I'm intriqued. I was wondering what kind of h...I'm intriqued. I was wondering what kind of handle she was reaching for. A door handle or or a sword handle? You paint a very nice picture of her internal voice. Nice job!Sharon K. Mayhewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07799235347319851345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-1298544949520346832011-03-22T20:03:07.815-05:002011-03-22T20:03:07.815-05:00I like this and I'm excited to see what happen...I like this and I'm excited to see what happens to this character. The sentence 'The muffled roar of the crowd...' is a bit wordy and takes me out a little bit. I had to read it a few times.Melissa Sarnohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11215683401795724259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-47737134730299051192011-03-22T12:31:52.046-05:002011-03-22T12:31:52.046-05:00Very good set up for premise of story. Intriguing,...Very good set up for premise of story. Intriguing, yet threads of fancy are woven in for the reader. (She's already faced giants bigger than high school kids).<br /><br />Makes reader want to know what kind of creature Megan is. <br /><br />Love the first line...SHOWS the reader MC's fear of the unknown.<br /><br />I'd read further.<br /><br />Good luck!Gayle C. Krausehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09574871777672680761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-60310075371524868122011-03-22T12:26:22.243-05:002011-03-22T12:26:22.243-05:00Love that the action is off and running. Well done...Love that the action is off and running. Well done!Jackeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03351019926958000627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-66501204897501022102011-03-22T09:32:09.683-05:002011-03-22T09:32:09.683-05:00Great start. I feel like I'm there experience ...Great start. I feel like I'm there experience the moment with her. :DStinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11415189347501942340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-65205289611157812022011-03-21T19:45:21.957-05:002011-03-21T19:45:21.957-05:00Love the second to last line; great descriptive wo...Love the second to last line; great descriptive words in it.Kelly Polarkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10968381456100611120noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449147139519589668.post-79483794531169546182011-03-21T18:15:42.307-05:002011-03-21T18:15:42.307-05:00Not a good time for a panic attack - if that's...Not a good time for a panic attack - if that's what's going to happen! Good set up :)Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.com